Your most beautiful quality is confidence
By Allison Isaacs
Illustration by Dwain Skinner
Woman, I beseech you, do not withhold the love you deserve until you’re size 6. I implore it of you, do not keep that adorable bikini stuffed away, disintegrating, in the back of the drawer, until you have finally smoothed the cellulite from your thighs. Don’t you dare leave that sexy red dress hanging lonely in the back of the closet until you tone your abs or feel less bloated.
Put it on and strut your stuff! Take it off, and breathe deep the air of confidence! Love your body as it is, make this your goal.
Accepting your body, loving you just as you are, does not mean you care less about your health, eat with complete disregard, or that you give up on exercise. Not at all. In fact, you will continue to care and care all the more for your body as you learn to love it.
Your healthy eating habits will stem from a desire to fuel your sacred system with nourishment, not to deprive it until it looks like a Victoria Secret Angel. Your exercise routine will be fueled by the energy of individual expression and fulfillment by the way you uniquely move, by the way the air feels entering and releasing from your lungs.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Woman, behold your beauty!
Now I’ll take a break from the bossy self-help spiel to tell you why this is an important message. Allow me to be frank as I share, in vulnerability, my personal experience that ignited such passion within.
I have always been curvy, though somewhat petite. Although never “model perfect,” I’ve always felt sexy … and that’s what matters!
In the past several years though, I have been gaining weight like never before. Of course, I’m in my 40s and experience hormonal imbalances. My normally active lifestyle of daily hikes, morning yoga, and dancing has been difficult to achieve. Rigorous exercise has not found its allotted slot on my current agenda — instead, I’ve gone into survival mode.
I began to not feel sexy. My relationship with my partner suffered as I began to compare my body to other women’s, fearing he wished I looked like them. My sex life suffered because my orgasms depend deeply upon feeling in-tune and sexy, and likewise, his sexual attraction to me hinges upon my level of confidence. Straight up, I’m sexy when I’m confident. Straight down, I’m pitiful when I’m not. Lack of confidence is ugly. Confidence is beauty!
I tried to fight these feelings by fighting my weight. But as we all know, weight loss takes time, commitment, energy and focus. My self-esteem could not wait any longer. I needed a quick change, and the only thing I can control is my perspective, the way I view my body. Quite frankly, the shape of my soul is far more important than the shape of my thighs.
Sisters, I will tell you that the health of my soul hinges upon the love I give her. I chose to love her just the way she is, love my curves, my soft beautiful belly. I chose to love myself through and through, perfect in my imperfections.
Now back to you …
Loving your body energizes you to be your best! According to the Law of Attraction, we manifest in our lives that to which we give energy, whether positive or negative. If your thoughts are self-loathing, you’ll feel low. If your eyes always scrutinize your belly fat, that belly fat will stick around. On the contrary, when you love yourself, you will have the energy and confidence to accomplish anything. When you appreciate your natural assets, they will shine with value to all.
Accepting your body, loving your body, starts by changing YOUR definition of beauty. You cannot wait to lose the weight or tone your abs before you feel sexy. Likewise, you cannot wait for the world’s standards to change — the change begins within. Only when I love myself will I be a changing force in the world. Only when you love yourself will you radiate confidence. And confidence is beauty.
I’ll say it again … woman, behold your beauty!