There’s an immediate brightness to SHANI CAVINESS, PA-C a mix of curiosity, confidence, and kindness that makes people feel seen the moment they sit in her chair. Raised in a military family that moved often, Shani learned early how to adapt, connect, and embrace each new chapter. That spirit has guided her throughout a career that began in internal medicine and ultimately led her to aesthetics, where her love of science meets her instinct for artistry.
At OptimalSelf MD, Shani is known for her eye, her honesty, and her ability to help people feel like the best version of themselves. She listens closely, evaluates with precision, and approaches each face with a gentle belief that everyone has beauty worth highlighting. Driven yet deeply grounded, Shani brings both skill and heart to her work and to her life. Her story is one of reinvention, courage, and the joy that comes from finally finding where you’re meant to be.
Where were you born?
I was born in Fort Wayne, Indiana. I am an Army brat, so I have no real home.
Do you consider yourself a Midwesterner?
No, probably not. I lived in Charlotte for 30 years, so I consider myself more a southern girl at this point.
From Indiana, where did you go?
We moved every one to three years of my life until high school.
What was your father’s position in the military?
He was enlisted. He served two tours in Vietnam as a gunner on a helicopter.
Is he alive?
He is not unfortunately.
Did he suffer PTSD over the years?
Yes, he did. You would never know he suffered from PTSD because he carried himself so well during the day. He was a very caring, loving and giving man, but my mom told us that he would wake up during the night with nightmares and sweating.
Did your mother and father remain married throughout your life?
They did not. My dad was working for the military in Africa for a few years while my mom and the rest of our family were living in Indiana so she could get her RN degree. Things just fell apart, and between my junior and senior year of high school they divorced and I moved to Cincinnati, Ohio.
Have you ever lived abroad?
Yes, several times.
Where were you stationed?
When I was younger in Holland. We also had the opportunity to live in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Helsinki, Finland, Athens, Greece . . . really beautiful places. I was very fortunate. There were also places we could not go because of how dangerous the countries were. It was an incredible way to grow up.
When did your father retire from the military? And did he work for the government?
He put in his full 20 years and retired. He then was given the opportunity to be a non-commissioned officer. One of the saddest stories I find about him is that he caught someone cheating in the classroom. The military personnel would not remove that person. He believed in justice and felt “there was no honor” so he dropped out. He had been first in his class. It really was a life lesson for me, that you must always be honorable even though it hurt career-wise.
He left the military for some time. He held several positions—worked security at Reds games, at a gas station and eventually clawed his way up to running the school buses for the entire school system we lived in. He had to support his family. Eventually, he joined the Department of Defense.
PHOTOGRAPH BY TODD KUHNS
How old were you when he joined?
I was in college, so about 20, 21 years old. He was sent to Athens, Greece and worked for the Department of Defense or Defense Intelligence at that point.
And did he retire from the DOD?
He retired but joined on a contract per se and was in charge of starting the new defense intelligence in Niger, Africa.
Did you ever travel to Niger?
No, I did not. It was not the safest of places. I was also in the throes of school and work.
What year did he pass away?
In 2000. I feel in my heart that he lived long enough to give me away, when I was married. That same year he was killed.
And where was he killed?
He was in Najera, Niger. It was two days before Christmas. He was out with friends for dinner, and as they walked out a man who had been targeting foreigners came up and shot both he and one of his Marine colleagues.
Was it an intentional act of terrorism?
Absolutely. The assassin was a known terrorist in the region. Back then, all Americans drove white SUVs. He was targeted and identified by the vehicle he drove. The terrorist shot them, stole the SUV and took off across the border in it. The tragedy became an international story. They were after this man for 10 maybe 15 years. The FBI was very persistent. They found him and were able to extradite him. He went to trial in the United States and is currently in jail in the United States.
Is he in Guantanamo or is he in a federal prison?
He is in a high-level prison in Colorado.
Your father was a true hero.
He absolutely was, the most generous of spirits. I have letters from an orphanage in that area where he donated the extra furniture that the embassy didn’t need any more. He would play chase with the orphans, which just reminds me of dad. He was always the playful one who wanted to have fun with the kids and play games. He was a great father
How old were you when your father was killed?
Twenty-eight. He was supposed to be on a plane in a few hours to come home for Christmas. I remember not emailing him, thinking he would be on a plane in a few hours. I regret that now… not sending him that last “I love you” and not reaching out.
But he knew that…
Yes, but that was the worst part. He did not make any funeral plans on where he wanted to be buried. I just remember calling Arlington and asking if he could be buried there. They said, “Ma’am, it’s Christmas Eve.” But because of his credentials . . . the titles, accolades, positions and ribbons, he was interred at Arlington National Cemetery. So now we visit him there.
You are never prepared when your parents are taken quickly. What is a lesson to be learned?
I turned 52 this year and my dad passed away at 50. Since the day I turned 50, I said, “This is it. I am going to grasp life. I’m going to enjoy every day and really take it for the gift that it is.” It is really important to wake up with positivity and be grateful. I have a notebook beside my bed where I write things that I am grateful for. I travel more, and if there is an opportunity, I am going to go with it. I try not to be the most responsible person anymore. I want to go out and live. I realize he was so young and had so much more ahead. So, I do not waste opportunities, to honor him.
Your father remarried and obviously you have a good relationship with his new wife.
Yes.
Was it always strong?
Yes. I think that my stepmom came into our lives when we really needed her. She gave us stability and gives great advice on love and just life in general. She was a social worker. She worked with abused children. She was really smart, an intellectual woman with an incredible family. I think having her near us made a difference in our world. It got a little bit rocky when dad passed away. It is funny what death brings out in people.
What does grief do to people?
It can bring out bad feelings.
Which is projecting your pain onto someone else.
I love that you said that because I really was baffled at the time. I felt we needed to hold each other up and love each other. But there was a lot of anger and frustration. I think the healing is still continuing. It will always be there. There are always good days, but the Christmas season is a little more difficult for us.
How old were you when you were married?
Twenty-eight. We were married in May and my father was killed in December. He was obviously a part of that wedding.
PHOTOGRAPH BY TODD KUHNS
What a wonderful gift.
Wonderful. He had the best time. I just remember sitting with him at the bar afterwards talking about it. He was so happy, so proud to give me away. He just looked so handsome in his tuxedo and had really enjoyed himself. He was always telling us how proud of us he was, for our careers. I was the first daughter to receive a master’s degree, an advanced degree. He was very proud of that, and told everybody that his daughter was a PA. He absolutely loved that he had four daughters with advanced degrees. My older sister is an occupational therapist. My next one down has her master’s in social work. And then my youngest sister is an international attorney. We came from an enlisted man with no college degree–who dropped out of college the first year. He was trying to work at a tire factory at the same time and could not maintain grades. So, he enlisted, but he fathered four strong women.
Tell me about your mom.
Mom was the one who kept us all together when dad had to travel.
Was she stronger?
No, mom was practical, she was more focused on getting everybody fed and clothed while dad was taking us to play basketball or go for a run. Mom held down the fort. We had numerous moves she had to organize, make sure with three daughters moving around, we had clothing, shoes, coats, you know . . . She had to get us in and out the door. She did a lot of laundry, because we are very active children.
Where did you go to school?
Because of the divorce between junior and senior year, I was straddling Indiana and Ohio. I looked at a couple of different colleges. At the time, there was no internet and I ended up at Heidelberg University in Tiffin, Ohio. It was a small school, which was probably good for me because of the opportunities it gave me. I do not know of any other school that allows you to have cadaver lab first thing your freshman year.
I had opportunities going to a smaller school and I remember around my sophomore year, my dad sent me this article from Newsweek talking about a new career path, called physician assistant. When I read the article, it was spot on, and it was exciting because we have a lot of nurses in the family. We have occupational therapists, speech therapists, but this was something that really spoke to me. From that point on, I was extremely driven. I was a biology major, and it was the only thing I could think about.
Did you ever think of being a doctor?
I did consider being a physician, but to me family was really important, and I was afraid that would inhibit me having a family.
Do you ever regret that decision?
Yes. I do.
What lesson did you learn from that experience?
PA is a wonderful career, and I have really enjoyed it. I worked in internal medicine for 15 years and then I moved over to aesthetics. As a physician, I probably would not have had that flexibility, but in turn, I think being able to create something on my own would have been a wonderful opportunity. MD’s have autonomy that is lacking sometimes as a PA, which is a little frustrating.
I think it is how society sees women in general, in healthcare. I do not mind being called a nurse, but I did lot of extra work requiring significant discipline to become a PA. Unfortunately, people don’t understand the difference and that can be frustrating. As an MD that would not have been an issue.
How did you and your ex-husband meet?
I graduated with my degree as a PA from a school in Pennsylvania. It was freezing so I hightailed it out of there. I needed to be somewhere warm. My stepmother had family in Charlotte, which looked like a great place to live. I literally picked up and moved to a spot I knew nothing about. While there, I met this incredible “girl tribe” that would just flock in a pack to the nightclubs. We went to Hilton Head beach together. There, a pack of boys ran into this pack of girls, which is where I met my first husband.
And how long were you married?
We were married 18 years.
Was it a difficult divorce?
It was a difficult divorce because I did not want that for my boys. I have two spectacular children and family is important to me. I was so uncomfortable in that relationship, that I just had to leave it. I did not feel loved. And it may not have been his fault. It could be me. I wasn’t receiving what I needed.
Was it always like that or did it morph into that?
No, it was like that from the beginning.
What is the moral of that story?
Never get married just to get married. I am a very driven woman. Once I graduated PA school, I said, “OK, what do you do now? You get married and you have children.” I did not allow myself to back off and become comfortable in being the individual self.
When did you figure out who you were?
I would have to say in this last year, I have done so much transforming. I left a very comfortable job in Charlotte, all of my friends, and my home. I had been there for 30 years, and I decided to try something new. I moved to Greenville, South Carolina, because I found that everybody here is happy, helpful and engaging. I have never been to a place like this, and I wanted to be included in that type of community. When I met providers at my current position at OptimalSelf, it felt immediately like family. They were genuine. I loved the banter because it was so family-like. I wanted to be part of this.
Do you think part of the strength that you conjured up to make that move came from your childhood and understanding that every place has a new experience, new chapter, new journey?
Absolutely.
Were you bored in Charlotte?
Yes.
And people like you and me, we don’t do well with boredom, do we?
We do not.
PHOTOGRAPH BY TODD KUHNS
Are you completely overwhelmed with how chaotic your life is now in comparison?
It is a necessary means to an end… meaning I am constantly traveling for Ellacor. I work three to four days at Optimal Self, and I am traveling three to four days for Ellacor.
You pivoted from internal medicine to aesthetics. What was the decision catalyst?
I really enjoyed internal medicine and the people. But the doctors are in and out of a patient’s room, and you have minimal time with the person. I like to engage with people and get to know them. If you don’t understand their history or their life, you can’t treat them, or they won’t trust you to treat them. It came to the point where I said, “This is not the best medicine for people. I am not giving them my best because I do not have the time to give my best.” It was frustrating for me. I saw an ad for a plastic surgeon’s practice, and I put in for it. I cannot even believe it. It was fate. They hired me. I had training in Botox and filler and that was it. They brought me in, and I learned about cosmetic surgery, post-op care of cosmetic surgery. When I got my hands on lasers, I went crazy. I love it. I love to learn. I love to dig in. I love to figure things out, which is probably the internal medicine person in me. I like to learn. And I get really excited, because people come to see me when they want help. I can make them feel so much more confident. And I have time.
I find you to be an artist. I know that sounds a little crazy, but the finest aesthetics come from people who are visionary. You said you gravitated to lasers, but you also have an artistic perspective?
Absolutely. There are specific characteristics of beauty. When we look at Angelina Jolie, or we look at Brad Pitt, what are we seeing? We are looking at facial balance—where are the cheekbones, the eyes, and the lips? There is a generalized aesthetic in youth that changes as we age. Our fat pads change, our skin changes, everything changes. Yet, people want to look youthful. We can help put back an amount of fullness, helping with shadows and contour. There is beauty in everybody out there. I am just highlighting it.
You immediately do an assessment…How does that work? People are generally not self-aware.
There is an innate beauty in everybody. I can look at somebody and tell them specifically, you have the perfect eyes, you have the perfect brows, you have the perfect lips. But I can also then tell them what can highlight those areas. You are aging because of hollowed temples, you have too many jowls. I assess with my eyes. I tell them the positive because I think it is important that people know they are beautiful, but one thing can make them just a touch better.
A little refinement can give a more youthful appearance—and with it, confidence. It is really important that people feel good about themselves. Being an uplifting provider is something I strive for. Clients confide in me when other providers have said, “Oh no, you need this, this, and this.” Nobody wants to feel like that.
How many years were you with the plastic surgeons?
I was there for 10 years total. I left during COVID to go back to family practice and then came back again. And I worked with some of the most incredible providers. Dr. Joseph Hunstad is well renowned in the cosmetic surgery field. He has chapters in surgical books. He loved doing faces. He did generalize things. He invented a lot of procedures with liposuction, actually. But really, if you would ever attend a meeting, he was always at the forefront of it. And he was joined by two other partners, Dr. Bill Kortesis and Dr. Gaurav Bharti, who have kept that legacy alive. They have continued to speak at national programs, write chapters and books. They are growing by leaps and bounds.
You had a great experience with them?
What I enjoyed most was they allowed me to have independence, which to me says they trusted me. They handed things to me, and away I went. I was very fortunate to have that independence so I could learn. You can be stunted in growth if someone is too hands-on, constantly looking over your shoulder and questioning everything you do. They allowed me to have confidence in myself to build, grow, and achieve the best results.
How did you become number one in the world at Ellacor?
Ellacor. Cytrellis is the company and one of my good friends, Kate Wellborn, was the representative who came to our office and presented the information on Ellacor. For years I had been struggling to help women’s jowls. I could not find any procedure that improved the jowl area besides a facelift. Yet, many women do not want a surgical option. When she presented the information and said Ellacor is skin removal, a mental light bulb came on. It made sense.
Skin removal without long periods of downtime, without a surgical cut, makes sense. I begged and pleaded for our office to purchase Ellacor. I went to our poor CFO’s office every morning: “Please, please, please let me get Ellacor.” When the machine arrived, I put anybody and everybody on my tables to try it, to practice, to learn to refine. It was still brand new technology.
How long ago was that?
This was about two-and-a-half years ago.
And you are today leading the world.
I have done more Ellacor procedures than anybody in the world. Over 500. And I have trained hundreds if not thousands of providers on Ellacor.
Ellacor also gave you an opportunity to travel to South Korea?
Yes. I am so excited by this opportunity. Ellacor was just approved in South Korea, and they will be sending me over there to train their surgeons.
You have freedom . . . with adult children and you are an empty nester?
I have two wonderful boys. My older son just graduated from Furman University and wants to be a builder. He graduated last May and is working in that field. My younger son just started at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. He is living his best life right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10, in terms of life fulfillment, where are you right now?
Probably a 9 out of 10.
And have you ever been 10 out of 10?
There are days when I definitely am. The day I heard that I was going to South Korea was a 10. It validated everything I have worked so hard for . . . all of the effort is finally here.
You created an opportunity for yourself through a company you believed in.
Yes, to help people achieve their best self. I will bend over backward for anybody I work with because that is what I am. I am a giving, loving person and it gives me joy to have somebody else find their happiness and peace.
PHOTOGRAPH BY TODD KUHNS
Do you think you might marry again?
I don’t know if I would get married again. I would probably have a commitment ceremony. I do not feel the need to be married, and I am a one person kind of girl. It stresses me out to date. I am a very committed and loyal person, and I think when I find that person, for me, I will be loyal and have a commitment ceremony. But I don’t feel the need to be married again.
What does 10 years from now look like for you?
I am hoping to work part-time. But my passion—my goal—would be to go into schools and teach kids to read. I grew up reading. Back in the day when you had to push buttons on the TV, there was no remote and only a few channels. Also, living overseas, oftentimes there was no television. Our family grew up reading books, and I am an avid reader. The saddest thing to me is that half the children cannot read these days.
Would that be a philanthropic endeavor or a professional endeavor?
Philanthropic, because I cannot think of anything more fun than spending time with these little brains that have such excitement and such creativity and imagination. I would enjoy helping them get deep into a world where they can create something just in their mind by reading books.
Do you think you’ll stay in the aesthetic rejuvenation space for the rest of your life?
Yes. I love it.
You are exceptionally mindful of your own health. What is your primary self-focus?
Over the last couple years, I have been more focused on gut health and what I am putting into my body. When I was younger, I was a sugar bug. I would eat one to two candy bars a day. I could eat a six pack of chocolate covered donuts, no issues. As I age, things have changed, and the gut health issue became something I am really interested in.
What is the definition of gut health?
Gut health is putting good bacteria into our body through different foods. If it is not going into your body, it is not going out of your body.
Gut health is a big part of Optimal Self’s practice. Many women do not have awareness of their own gut health.
They do not. America is so fast-paced, we have almost forgotten to take care of ourselves. Fast food is full of preservatives. I struggle with the fact that we are the most advanced country on earth, and we put the worst food in our bodies. The beauty of OptimalSelf is the attention to our skin, which often mirrors our well-being. Gut health affects skin, our hormones affect skin, et cetera. Women are intricate creatures. We hit menopause and things really go bonkers. Understanding your body again, you feel better, you look better, you have more energy, and you are more productive. The brain fog is gone. That is ultimately what I love.
What are you afraid of?
Failure. I think that is why I am so driven. Failure to me is not being able to provide for my family, which is not acceptable to me. I will do anything and everything. I do not remember the last time I had fewer than two jobs because I want to create opportunities for my boys.
Women come to you fearful of aging. What do you tell them?
The number one comment I hear is, “I don’t want to get old.” I believe you are as young as you feel and age is a number. I have seen 50-year-olds who can barely move because they are not well. I have seen 70-year-olds who can run circles around me. My job is to make you feel confident with your appearance. It is always uplifting.
When someone walks out of the door, what do you want to hear?
Thank you, Shani. I feel so good.
What piece of advice would you give younger women?
Chase your goal first. Everything will follow and fill in the spaces. Whether that be career, whether it be family. Do not let the small stuff bother you, either. Just aim high. I saw a quote the other day. “Aim for the moon. If you fail, you at least land in the stars.” And do not let anything stop you. You can do it.